have haunted me for as long as I can remember. I grew up in Orlando and in Ft. Lauderdale. It wasn’t special, it was something cheap to do in the off season. Then to make matters worse, I grew up with a very petite neighbor that played Mickey Mouse. Not the voice or anything, she had to wear that hot and smelly character carcass all around people that were there on vacation. They were smiley, chipper, and worst of all, they all made her late to work everyday.
Did I mention that she’s a woman? Disney couldn’t even let her be Minnie or Daisey.
Some day’s she would let me come with her and I could skip all the lines and could feel VIP all day with just her and I. Not one of my four brothers was there to ruin it.
I still miss that. A lot. It was her, this tiny female that would invite me, not my brothers with her. I got treated special all day, and not by a Prince Charming, but by a tiny woman that saw something in me that made her choose me! I was only 8 or 9, so to me, that was all I needed.
Fuck the Prince, fuck the evil queen, and fuck me for taking 35 years to realize that I don’t need a castle, a white horse, an evil nemesis to make me think I needed those things, not even singing mice that were probably manifesting themselves as schizophrenia anyway.
The next time I hear a song that makes me feel like I’m missing something in my life, like the prince, the castle, all of that total bullshit, all I need to KNOW is that I have a 4 year old princess waiting for her hero to come and rescue her, and that’s her Mommy and mommy’s trusty lawyer.